Friends…The kind that ask you…”WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?! and some other PUT you in your place things! ”

 

 

So since many of you don’t know me. I feel like I should tell you a little bit about me each time I post. I know it may seem daunting but it will help each post make sense so you know where I am coming from!

Since I was a little girl my mother always told me to follow my gut and to trust what ever that crazy feeling was. I have to tell you that it has ALWAYS worked for me. I won HUGE stuffed unicorns at the fair when I was little for my sister and I. All I did was choose which color the mouse was going to run to from on the spinning wheel. I won so many little prizes I was able to turn them into go get HUGE  stuffed UNICORNS, a pink one for Jen and a purple one for me.

Then again and again, over and over I was shown that following that feeling always lead me down the right path and when I ignored it…I paid…I had my heart torn to bits and pieces, by family, friends and even in my love life. So, I trust it I go when my gut says go, I call when my gut says to call, I just do it!

My latest listen to my heart lead me to a job at a local church. I work just in the morning, I am able to be home for lunch, so I can continue to homeschool. I can wear what ever I want, I can be me…I have not had a job where I could wear jeans since I was a teenager…so amazing!

In case you didn’t catch where I am going with this…I do believe that little voice whispering to me is God. Before you start thinking “Who does she think she is thinking God is talking to her?” Know that I am his child, he is my true father and I believe my earthly father sits next to him watching over me so I am sure he is saying hey there…their is a big decision coming up could you help our daughter…and it is so…YOU can think I am crazy that is okay, I get that, but I know in my heart this is truth. In all the places of my life where I care way to much about what people think this is the only one I don’t 🙂

That being said this week, I met up with two friends. Each time my head said “lady you have to much going on in your life to stop and chat…”  BUT my GUT said “GO GO GO, enjoy a  break. YOU can not have friends unless you are a friend!”

So I went and in both this cases both friends (one a newer friend and one that I have had since we moved here)  asked me some questions that made me think all week…I thought I knew the answers when they asked BUT I didn’t!

When I was asked what was new…I told them all my crazy ideas and dreams, and I got….

“Wait, what? You’re adding more on your plate!”

“YES, I can do that! I can add that in, it will not take that much of my time, and I can do this before and this after…”I mean I had it right!

As I sat and thought about the questions they asked me this week, I thought about the bible study I just finished up this last week. It was a book study called Present over perfect. It really was all about doing what is important and just doing it now, being present in the moment, and saying no to the right things so when you are saying NO you are really saying yes to something else that is more important in your life.

So as I thought about all the things I have been saying yes to because my gut was telling me to the last few months, I really was saying NO to some pretty important things that could, should, and will change my life!

I am so grateful that my feelings also lead me to my sweet friends who were not afraid, to tell the truth, to tell me to wait a minute, and look at the things I really love and matter to me and focus on that, NOT everything that I CAN DO. Just because I CAN do something and I would do it well, doesn’t mean that I should do it. Some times I get trapped in this world of I can do it. I can do it all, I have two hands that work, I have two feet that work, I SHOULD just be the one to do it. I mean why NOT….well this week I FINALLY GOT THE “WHY NOT”. I should not be the one to do something because I can because I am taking away the chance of someone who could do it AMAZING!

This week I figured out some pretty awesomeness! I mean, I learned I don’t have to do it all! I can and should let other’s in my life do it, and help when needed, as I don’t have to be the one to do it, especially when someone else is the expert at it! Not everything has to be serious, and not everything has to be done perfectly. Wow, this blog is really doing what I hoped it would…teaching me to stop and reflect on that it is that is going on and showing me exactly what I love!

Cheers, til next time!

Welcome to Establishing Me!

Hi there, If you have not already read somewhere on this site…I AM SO GLAD your here!

Bare with my longish post I swear there is a reason for it! You will get to know a bit more about me and why Establishing ME was born!

Now if you know me personally you have probably heard the story of how my mom and dad had a naming war. Thankfully my mom won and although I like to romanticize and say I was named after all the strong men in my family named Charles that isn’t entirely true. You see Charlene is the feminine form of Charles and every first born male in my family was named Charles. I wasn’t a male but I was first born still doesn’t count they say! Alas, Charlene was just a name my mother heard on a soap opera and loved.

Had my father won my name would have been Gypsy…for no other reason than he liked the name. You are probably wondering what I am starting my blog with this story of my name well there is a reason so sit tight and give me a few more moments to get there!

(I do have to add that if he won my name would now be Gypsy Rose which makes me laugh and laugh and laugh! )

I am not sure what happened with me and the naming wars but I do believe that although I hated my name growing up. ( I just wanted to be a Kelly, a Sarah or a Jessica you know the girls in your class that had to use their last Initial to tell them apart, gesshh I wanted to blend in). NOW, as an adult, I can see how both names that were spoken over me being minutes old greatly affected who I am.

I am beyond strong like the men in my family. At least I like to think so, I am now learning that there are things my husband just has to do for me. Although, I can push the furniture around and up and down the stairs when ever I get a whim, and I can run a business and household on my own (but I love the help). I am a girl who has a gyspy soul, I can not sit still (thank goodness I can move the furniture haha). We have moved around so many time, and I am sure we will again. This last move was the biggest! We moved from Illinois to South Dakota. Although my heart is still not settled I know I am not the only one in our family, and half of us love to move and the other half HATES it. So, Hubs and I aggreed that ONE more move is all I get an that will be our forever space.

So two years ago we made the big move, the first year of our life was getting settled, finding where the stores that we needed, and of course finding sports and things for the kids to do. The second year started last June and I really don’t remember that year. I went back to work, started my photography business again, and kept up (barely with the house and the kids). Some thing was off…it wasn’t right. Nothing I did here brought me any joy like it did back home. I went through the days doing my to do list and existing. So what did I do, what any irresponsible adult does when adulting is not working I quit it all. The first time in my life I QUIT a job with out another lined up. MOST OF ALL I QUIT feeling sorry for my self! I didn’t, and don’t want to exist, I want a purpose. I want to leave a legacy for my children, I need to know I did something good while I was here on earth. I needed to not find me but keep me going and establish ME again.

So I started writing again, I started taking pictures of my kids again, I started finding JOY in life again. Then I thought I can not be the only one feeling lost! I can not be the only mom who is working or running a business, or homeschooling 4 kids, or jumping back into foster parenting again…I can not be the only one who has moved states away and started over again which I desperately wanted to do.

The thing is I jumped, I held my husband’s hand I committed, we committed, and we jumped. If we are looking at life like being on a boat, and jumping being a risk we needed to take we jumped in! The water was deeper than we thought it would be and the first year was like the frantic swim up to the surface. The water is rushing at you, you want to open your eyes but when you do it is dark and the water stings, you see the light and you KICK hard until you burst through the surface of the water and you see the boat and you see land. Do you get back on the boat, or start for the land that is unexplored? We went to land and when we got there it was different. Things were missing, parts of our lives that were so rock solid back on the boat didn’t exist in this new land.

So we are learning to find things we love, we are learning our place in this new land of South Dakota. The funny thing is as I write that I almost feel like I am writing a clip from a History book, as I can only imagine that the settlers who were first here felt a bit like I did, unsettled, and unsure of what to do or say.

So if I had to sum it up. Charlene=Strong+a wondering soul. Now that I found me I need to Establish me. I hope I find lots of things to love along the way, and if I don’t that is okay too. I will be honest about what I am doing and what it is about and that is all anyone can really ask for. So today I am a writer, tomorrow I will be a mother and a planner as we pack and head East to see family. The next day who knows. I just learned and maybe you always knew but I don’t have to be one thing, I don’t have to be just one type of mom or business owner or wife. I can be what ever I want to be on what ever day I want to do it on. I just have to DO it now, and so I did!

Of course, I had to share a cute Gypsy baby picture of me.  As I wrote this picture came into my head, so it needed to be shared!

Blog post one done! I would drop a mic if I was holding one…but really I know I will edit the heck out of this before I publish it BUT I still did it and that is an accomplishment for me as I am Establishing ME! 🙂

 

Cheers til next time!